FlexiSpy is a covert phone-monitoring app — often called “stalkerware” — that can be installed on someone else’s phone to secretly read their messages, calls, and location. Installing this kind of software on a device that isn’t yours, without the owner’s knowledge and consent, is illegal in most jurisdictions under wiretapping, computer-misuse, or stalking laws, even if you’re in a relationship with that person. This article previously walked through installing FlexiSpy; we’ve replaced that with what actually matters — how to tell if monitoring software is on your device, what to do about it, and where consensual monitoring (like parental controls) is different.
Signs your phone may have stalkerware on it
- Faster battery drain or the phone running warm when idle — monitoring apps run continuously in the background.
- Higher-than-normal data usage — the app has to upload your activity somewhere.
- Unfamiliar apps, or an app icon that’s hidden or disguised as something innocuous (a calculator, a system utility).
- Settings that won’t stay changed — e.g., “install from unknown sources” being re-enabled on Android, or your device suddenly requiring you to disable Play Protect.
- The device was out of your possession for a period of time you can’t account for — stalkerware almost always requires brief physical access to install.
How to check for and remove it
- Check your installed apps list (Android: Settings > Apps; iPhone: Settings > General > iPhone Storage) for anything you don’t recognize, including apps with generic names.
- Run a reputable mobile security scanner — Malwarebytes, Bitdefender, and Certo all specifically detect known stalkerware families, including FlexiSpy.
- Update your OS — many stalkerware tools rely on exploits or permissions that are closed off by the latest Android/iOS security updates.
- Change your passwords from a different, trusted device before removing the app, since the monitoring software may be capturing what you type as you clean the infected device.
- If you believe you’re in an unsafe situation (domestic abuse, stalking), removing the app can alert whoever installed it that you know. The Coalition Against Stalkerware and the National Network to End Domestic Violence’s Safety Net project both have guidance on removing monitoring software safely when your physical safety may be at risk.
Where does consent change things?
Monitoring isn’t inherently illegal — it depends entirely on consent and ownership:
- Parents monitoring a minor child’s device they own is generally legal, but transparent tools built for this purpose (see below) are a better fit than covert stalkerware, since kids who discover hidden monitoring tend to lose trust and simply route around it.
- Employers monitoring company-owned devices is generally legal in most places when disclosed in a policy employees have acknowledged — covert monitoring of a personal device is a different, much riskier legal category.
- Monitoring a partner or another adult’s personal device without their knowledge is the scenario that runs into wiretapping and stalking statutes in most US states and many other countries, regardless of the relationship.
Legitimate, transparent alternatives
If your actual goal is age-appropriate parental oversight rather than covert surveillance, tools designed to be visible to the device’s user are the better — and legally safer — choice: Google Family Link and Apple Screen Time (both free, built-in, and disclosed to the child), and paid options like Qustodio and Bark, which focus on content filtering and safety alerts rather than silent call/message interception.
If you think you’re being monitored right now
If you’re worried a partner or ex has access to your device or accounts and you may be at risk, consider using a device the other person has never had access to when researching next steps or reaching out for help, since a compromised device can reveal what you’re doing. The National Domestic Violence Hotline (thehotline.org, 1-800-799-7233) has trained advocates who can help with a safety plan that accounts for tech-enabled monitoring.
